A Circle of Three A Personal Account from a Birth Doula
By Carol J. Spears
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An intense, immediate bond develops when a doula, a laboring mother and the birth partner (usually the life partner of the mother) join forces to bring a baby into the world. It can be sensed as an intimate “Circle of Three,” forged with compassion, bringing support and knowledge to the parents. As a doula, I become the constant presence for the mother and her partner – as did the older sister, aunt or grandmother of past generations. I help women bring the new ones into the world.

Early in the laboring process, our Circle of Three walk the halls of the hospital birthing area; step by step, motivating the mother's strong uterine muscles to become a part of the rhythmic movements of the pace. Walking becomes the focus for us three, as if in a walking meditation; then a contraction becomes a part of the movement and I step in front of the mother and say, “Here, lean on my shoulders, bend your knees, lean forward…breathe…good…that's over. Let's walk.”

As the natural progression of the labor rolls on, we three retreat into the birthing room. Lowered lights, favorite music playing softly and the privacy of the suite draw our Circle of Three closer together. I help the laboring woman into positions that utilize her body's powerful muscles so that gravity becomes an ally, moving the new life inevitably to the light of the world outside the mother's body. Eventually, we three move into a hyper-alert condition that narrows awareness to the rituals of the good work of the contractions – breathing, locked-eye contact, encouragement, soft repetitious words, massages, hot packs and cool cloths. The passing of time becomes absolutely non-existent. After the birth, it becomes a topic of conversation, but during the labor, the present moment is the only moment. The clock may show hours passing, but the reality within our Circle is just the experience of each breath, each contraction, each achievement in this awesome, yet ordinary process. “Breathe….breathe…breathe….You're doing great…You've got that one behind you…You can do this! You are doing this!”

I remind everyone (including myself) to drink water, eat to maintain strength and rest to relax strained muscles. None of our Circle will feel the thirst, hunger or fatigue until it is over, no matter how long it takes, so the reminders are needed. The final phase of pushing the baby is the most intense but also the most exhilarating for our team. As the physical presence of the little one's crown is poised to emerge, it becomes a tantalizing, visible reminder of what this has been all about. “Wait for the contraction…deep breath….hold…push, push, push, push!” And then, so quickly, the baby's head is out, followed by the sudden rush of its body on the next push. The unbelievable sight of that tiny person brings tears, laughter, squeals to mother, partner and me. “We did it!” The focus switches to the baby's cries, first breath, its bright, searching eyes and of the warmth of its body against its mother's. The present moment is the only, perfect moment.

I then step away, relinquishing the intimate bond, giving my place in the circle to the baby and mentally bless this new, beautiful Circle of Three.

Carol J. Spears is a Certified Birth Doula through DONA International. Carol also is a Reiki Master and Teacher at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Integrative Medicine, a Certified Music Practitioner of the harp and a meditation instructor. You may reach her through her private business, called Heart In Hands: (440) 639-9958, caroljspears@cs.com or www.heartinhands.com.